--- title: How to Succeed with a Stressful Coworker description: The chances are good that a simple shift in your mindset will enable you to lower your stress and improve these relationships with your stressful coworkers. image: https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/hubfs/blog-featured-images/Succeed-Stressful-Coworker.jpg --- [![Velocity Advisory Group](https://www.velocityadvisorygroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/Velocity-Logo-2023-Wide-1.png)](https://www.velocityadvisorygroup.com/) ☰ Menu - About - [Meet Our Team](https://www.velocityadvisorygroup.com/about/) - [Meet Our Coaches](https://www.velocityadvisorygroup.com/coaches/) - [Careers](https://www.velocityadvisorygroup.com/careers/) - [Speaking Engagements](https://www.velocityadvisorygroup.com/velocity-speakers/) - Solutions - [Culture & Engagement](https://www.velocityadvisorygroup.com/culture-engagement/) - [DISC Assessments & Training](https://www.velocityadvisorygroup.com/disc-assessments-training/) - [Employee Experience](https://www.velocityadvisorygroup.com/employee-experience/) - [Executive Coaching](https://www.velocityadvisorygroup.com/executive-coaching/) - [Family Business](https://www.velocityadvisorygroup.com/family-business/) - [Leadership Development](https://www.velocityadvisorygroup.com/leadership-development/) - [Sales Training](https://www.velocityadvisorygroup.com/5cs-of-selling/) - [Strategy & Implementation](https://www.velocityadvisorygroup.com/strategy-implementation/) - Resources - [Activating Greatness Podcast](https://www.velocityadvisorygroup.com/podcast/) - [Blog](https://www.velocityadvisorygroup.com/blog/) - [Case Studies](https://www.velocityadvisorygroup.com/case-studies/) - [News and Announcements](https://www.velocityadvisorygroup.com/news-and-events/) - [OrderDisc](https://orderdisc.com/) - [Upcoming Events](https://www.velocityadvisorygroup.com/upcoming-events/) - Industries - [Construction](https://www.velocityadvisorygroup.com/construction/) - [Financial Services](https://www.velocityadvisorygroup.com/financial-services/) - [Life Sciences](https://www.velocityadvisorygroup.com/lifesciences/) - [Contact](https://www.velocityadvisorygroup.com/contact/) Insights & NewsInsights July 20, 2021 # How to Succeed with a Stressful Coworker   Do you work with or for someone who’s approach regularily adds stress to your day? Perhaps this person has a ‘gift’ for pointing out small things that you missed and they’re not particularly warm in the messaging. Or maybe your colleague has an ‘adventurous’ approach to task completion, meaning they prioritize innovative approaches over what you are counting on to meet the deadline.  The chances are good that a simple shift in your mindset will enable you to lower your stress, improve these relationships, and perhaps even learn new things along the way. I once coached a senior operation executive we’ll call Don who led by quickly sizing up complex situations, taking decisive action to capture benefits as efficiently as possible, and then handing off lingering issues to others while he focused upon the next big challenge. Don was a very successful executive with a high level of self-awareness around his approach. However, upon arriving at his new organization, Don realized that his new CEO was far more deliberate in style than he had imagined during the interview process. Greg’s approach featured intensive questioning, deliberation, and long periods of reflection before arriving at a decision. And the bigger the stakes, the more elaborate and time-consuming decision making became.  Don’s first 6 months were filled with stress as their clash of styles was palpable for all to see.  Don would bound into Greg’s office filled with conviction and enthusiasm. An hour later he would emerge deflated and frustrated. Summing up his desire to leave the organization, Don said to me “Why did he hire me if I can’t do what I do well!?”  An early split seemed imminent. Then Don tried something unusual. Although he was still very confident in his perspective, Don decided to present a new idea as if he had *not* already made up his mind. He communicated with hesitating skepticism, invited Greg to pick each phase apart, and only advanced to the next stage after Greg’s concerns had been exhausted. Afterwards, Don was elated. “That was a great meeting,” he told me. “It took forever, but now I’ve got the keys to the castle!”   Over the ensuing months Don adopted his new communication strategy with Greg and their relationship gradually improved. After a year, however, Don sheepishly shared an insight he found ironic. “I’m so used to being more deliberate with Greg that now I just do it all the time – and it’s a good thing! It saves me time in the long run. I went down this meticulous decision-making road just to survive him, but the joke is on me because now I’m bought in. His approach works better.” Does the person that gets under your skin have a skillset that is stronger than your own in that area?  What if, instead of being stressed, you replaced frustration with curiosity and leaned a little in their direction? And what if you kept leaning that way over time? What Don did wasn’t easy. It went against his fundamental nature, one that had been very successful for him up until that point. The easy course for Don would have been to leave and find something “better.” Instead, Don stretched his approach, and bettered himself.  Connect with Velocity on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/company/velocity-advisory-group](https://www.linkedin.com/company/velocity-advisory-group) Share: [facebook-f icon](http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/insights/how-to-deal-with-a-stress-coworker) [linkedin-in icon](http://www.linkedin.com/shareArticle?mini=true&url=https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/insights/how-to-deal-with-a-stress-coworker) [Twitter icon](https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/insights/how-to-deal-with-a-stress-coworker) [pinterest-p icon](http://pinterest.com/pin/create/link/?url=https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/insights/how-to-deal-with-a-stress-coworker) [envelope icon](mailto:?body=https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/insights/how-to-deal-with-a-stress-coworker) [Insights](https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/insights/tag/insights) [Leadership & Coaching](https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/insights/tag/leadership-coaching) ## Ready to activate greatness on your team? Velocity Advisory Group helps leadership teams build the culture, strategy, and systems that let good people do their best work. [Book a discovery call](https://www.velocityadvisorygroup.com/contact/) ## Related posts [![How to Use AI to Highlight Your Unique Value in the Workplace](https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/hs-fs/hubfs/blog-featured-images/AI-Unique-Value.jpg?height=200&name=AI-Unique-Value.jpg)](https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/insights/how-to-use-ai-to-highlight-your-unique-value-in-the-workplace) [AI](https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/insights/tag/ai), [Insights](https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/insights/tag/insights) ## [How to Use AI to Highlight Your Unique Value in the Workplace](https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/insights/how-to-use-ai-to-highlight-your-unique-value-in-the-workplace) [Dan Silvert](https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/insights/author/dan-silvert) May 2, 2025, 6:11:02 PM Some people thrive in the spotlight. They bring life to meetings with big ideas, charm clients with... [Read more](https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/insights/how-to-use-ai-to-highlight-your-unique-value-in-the-workplace) [![Smarter Spending for Bigger Impact: HR’s 2026 Playbook](https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/hs-fs/hubfs/blog-featured-images/Smarter-Spending.jpg?height=200&name=Smarter-Spending.jpg)](https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/insights/smarter-spending-for-bigger-impact-hrs-2026-playbook) [Insights](https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/insights/tag/insights), [Leadership & Coaching](https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/insights/tag/leadership-coaching) ## [Smarter Spending for Bigger Impact: HR’s 2026 Playbook](https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/insights/smarter-spending-for-bigger-impact-hrs-2026-playbook) [Admin](https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/insights/author/admin) Aug 11, 2025, 5:39:49 PM Budget season can feel like a pressure cooker — especially for HR leaders. You’re expected to... [Read more](https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/insights/smarter-spending-for-bigger-impact-hrs-2026-playbook) [![Harnessing the Incredible Power of 360-Degree Feedback and Executive Coaching](https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/hs-fs/hubfs/blog-featured-images/Power-of-360-Degree-Feedback.webp?height=200&name=Power-of-360-Degree-Feedback.webp)](https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/insights/harnessing-the-incredible-power-of-360-degree-feedback-and-executive-coaching) [Insights](https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/insights/tag/insights), [Leadership & Coaching](https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/insights/tag/leadership-coaching) ## [Harnessing the Incredible Power of 360-Degree Feedback and Executive Coaching](https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/insights/harnessing-the-incredible-power-of-360-degree-feedback-and-executive-coaching) [Admin](https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/insights/author/admin) Jul 11, 2024, 8:06:00 AM Over the years, we’ve found that combining 360-degree feedback with executive coaching is the ideal... [Read more](https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/insights/harnessing-the-incredible-power-of-360-degree-feedback-and-executive-coaching) --- [![](https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Velocity%20Logo%202023%20Wide-2.png?width=1025&height=267&name=Velocity%20Logo%202023%20Wide-2.png)](http://velocityadvisorygroup.com) Copyright © 2026, Velocity Advisory Group ```json { "@context" : "https://schema.org", "@type" : "BlogPosting", "author" : { "@type" : "Person", "name" : "Dan Silvert", "url" : "https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/insights/author/dan-silvert" }, "dateModified" : "2026-10-09T20:32:24.576Z", "datePublished" : "2021-07-20T07:12:00.000Z", "headline" : "How to Succeed with a Stressful Coworker", "image" : [ "https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/hubfs/blog-featured-images/Succeed-Stressful-Coworker.jpg" ], "mainEntityOfPage" : { "@id" : "https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/insights/how-to-deal-with-a-stress-coworker", "@type" : "WebPage" }, "publisher" : { "@type" : "Organization", "logo" : { "@type" : "ImageObject", "url" : "https://coaching.velocityadvisorygroup.com/hubfs/Velocity%20Logo%202023%20Wide-2.png" }, "name" : "Velocity Advisory Group" } } ```